to the women who hurt me:
your anger lashed out in my direction
i caught it all confused
you thought a lot of things of me
the perception you held
made you bitter
you feared my friendship with your lover
insecurities that rose

it was the bitter thorns that i saw
the pain you masked
blaming me for it all
your friendship was once invaluable
then you turned away
never said a word
blamed me for all the pain

you all fixated on me
a kind of brokenness i could be attacked for
as if i never felt the shatters of glass
that you threw at me

embarrassed yourself in hostility
i never hoped to reciprocate
it was difficult to hold it together sometimes
it is, still when you treat me so unfair.

never to understand that
what you believed to be true was
not true at all
i looked at you and smiled
because i’ve been here before

is it easier for you to throw your pain at me
then let it overwhelm and hurt you anymore?
i think you’ve forgotten that you once
let me hear why you were hurting,
which is why

i forgive you all anyway
for the apology i never received

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